Imposter Syndrome is a B…..
Imposter Syndrome Is a Bitch, For Real
Let’s talk about this for a moment.
Imposter syndrome has a way of creeping into the depths of our souls and completely fucking with how we see ourselves.
Like… she’s really a bioootch, for real.
She comes in like a thief in the night stealing any joy, confidence, momentum, and self-growth we were JUST starting to step into.
You could literally be minding your business, doing your thing, feeling good about yourself and then here she comes:
“But are you actually good at this though?”
Girl, GO HOME.
Because think about how crazy this actually is.
You can have the whole world telling you how amazing you are. People can tell you that your work changed their life. They can tell you how authentic you are, how talented you are, how much you’ve helped them, how good you are at what you do…
And somehow your brain is still sitting there like:
“Hmm. I think I tricked everybody.”
WHAT?!
Baby, you are not that good of a scammer. 😂
At some point we have to consider the possibility that maybe, just maybe you really are the shit at what you do.
But here's where it gets tricky...
A lot of people don't even realize they're experiencing imposter syndrome.
They just walk around thinking something must be wrong with them.
They think everybody else has figured out some secret formula for confidence that they somehow missed. They start believing that maybe they actually are a fraud who's just really fucking good at cosplaying greatness.
Meanwhile, everybody else is looking at them like:
“Do you… not see yourself?”
Then there are those of us who KNOW imposter syndrome plays a role in our lives, businesses, creativity, relationships, parenting, spirituality all the things.
We can recognize it.
We know what it’s doing.
But knowing it’s there doesn't automatically mean we know how to get her ass out.
So instead, we get stuck.
It feels like standing in quicksand trying to fight for your life to be seen, heard, and confident while simultaneously having this gut-wrenching feeling that maybe you aren't actually the person everybody clearly sees you as.
And what's up with that?!
Likeeee where the hell did this even come from?
Well, I'll tell you.
The phrase we now commonly call “imposter syndrome” actually started as the “impostor phenomenon.”
In 1978, psychologists Pauline Clance and Suzanne Imes published research after working with more than 150 highly successful women.
And these weren't women who hadn't accomplished anything yet.
We're talking about successful, educated, accomplished women.
And STILL, many of them struggled to internalize their success.
Instead of thinking:
“I'm successful because I'm talented, capable, and worked my ass off.”
Their brains were basically saying:
“I probably got lucky.”
“They overestimated me.”
“I was just in the right place at the right time.”
“Eventually they're going to realize I don't actually know what I'm doing.”
Sound familiar?
Yeah.
Welcome to the club nobody asked to join.
And here's something I found really interesting: it wasn't originally called a syndrome because it wasn't supposed to suggest that something was clinically wrong with you.
It's an experience.
Which means experiencing it doesn't automatically mean something is broken inside of you.
Sometimes you're simply having a very human reaction to growth, expectations, comparison, pressure, perfectionism, or stepping into a version of yourself that you haven't fully gotten used to yet.
And THAT part got me yall.
Because I deal with this shit too.
I'll be doing good.
Feeling aligned.
Creating.
Showing up.
Feeling confident.
Doing my thing.
Then suddenly…
BOOM.
Off the fucking rails.
Now I'm questioning everything.
Am I actually good at this?
Who am I to teach somebody this?
Who am I to create this?
What if everybody realizes I don't know what the hell I'm doing?
Meanwhile, I have actual evidence that says otherwise.
That's the wild part.
Imposter syndrome doesn't always give a damn about your receipts.
You can pull out the testimonials, accomplishments, certifications, messages, screenshots, results, years of experience and everything else you've collected along the way and it’ll STILL be standing there like:
“Okay…but what if they're all wrong?”
So lately I've been learning how to recognize that energy without allowing it to run the damn show. Because maybe the goal isn't necessarily to never experience self-doubt again. Maybe the goal is learning how to stop letting Imposter Syndrome steal the show every-time it shows up.
Here's what I've been practicing.
1. Keep the damn receipts.
Seriously.
Save the message.
Screenshot the compliment.
Keep the testimonial.
Write down the accomplishment.
Document the moments where you KNOW you showed up.
Because when your brain starts rewriting history, sometimes you need evidence.
Not because your worth depends on somebody else's validation, but because imposter syndrome has a funny way of making us forget every piece of evidence that contradicts it.
So keep your receipts.
2. Stop moving the goalpost.
This one will get you.
You finally accomplish the thing you once dreamed about and instead of celebrating it, your brain immediately decides it wasn't that impressive.
“Well, anybody could've done that.”
Could they?!
Because six months ago YOU were terrified you couldn't do it. Give yourself your flowers before you immediately create another mountain to climb. Talking to myself here.
3. Separate being new from being incapable.
You are allowed to not know everything.
Read that again.
Being a beginner doesn't make you a fraud. Learning doesn't make you incompetent. Asking questions doesn't cancel out your expertise. I’ve been really tapping in to this. Innerstanding that I am allowed to ask questions about things I have learned and done.
Note, sometimes you feel uncomfortable because you're expanding. New rooms require new versions of us. There may be moments when your confidence hasn't caught up with your growth yet.
That doesn't mean you don't belong there.
4. Talk back to that bitch.
No seriously.
When your brain says:
“You don't know what you're doing.”
Ask:
“Is that actually true?”
When it says:
“Everyone else is better than you.”
Ask:
“Based on WHAT?”
When it says:
“They're going to find out you're a fraud.”
Ask:
“Find out what exactly?”
Because sometimes these thoughts sound convincing asf until you actually make them explain themselves. Then suddenly it's like… Oh.
So we don't have evidence. We're just scared.
Got it.
5. Stop waiting to feel confident before you move.
This might be the biggest one for me.
Sometimes confidence doesn't come first.
Sometimes you do the scary shit while your stomach is doing backflips.
You post it scared.
You launch it scared.
You teach scared.
You create scared.
You walk into the room nervous as hell and still take your seat.
And every time you survive doing something you weren't sure you could do, you give yourself another piece of evidence:
I can trust myself.
And finally… let yourself become who you're becoming.
I think sometimes we experience imposter syndrome because our external life has caught up to a version of ourselves that our internal identity hasn't fully accepted yet.
Other people see it. The opportunities reflect it. Your work reflects it. Your growth reflects it.
But some little piece of you is still standing in the old version of yourself saying:
“Wait…WE do this now?”
Yes, baby.
We do.
Maybe you aren't pretending to be her/him.
Maybe you're just getting acquainted with her/him.
Maybe you're not cosplaying greatness.
Maybe you've grown so much that your mind is still catching up to the reality of who you've become.
And maybe imposter syndrome doesn't always need to be defeated.
Sometimes she just needs to be reminded:
“You can come along if you want to, but you are NOT driving.”
✨ “Maybe you’re not pretending to be you. Maybe you’re just getting used to the fact that you’ve become exactly who you desire to be.”
Journal Prompt: “Where in my life am I calling myself an imposter when I’m actually just uncomfortable with my own growth?”
To go deep into self remembering, book with me.
